The Butler Did It
by steshin
Summary: Hiatus -Athrun Zala is outraged that his mansion has been turned into a hotel, no thanks to his butler. He wants these tenants out, most especially a blonde haired girl who only gets his blood boiling AC
1. An introduction of sorts

s/n: The story you are about to read is based on **_Kasey Michaels_**' book: _The Butler Did It_, which is one of my favorite books. If you can, try to find the book and read it. It's nice. The story is both sensual and humorous. Now, since I love the book so much, I decided to Gundam Seedify it. There'll be changes in the story, okay? Now onwards!

disclaimer: I don't own Gundam seed or it's sequel. I also don't own the book _The Butler Did It; _it belongs to its respective writer, Kasey Michaels.

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_The Butler Did It_

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(_1_)To begin with once upon a time would be, perhaps, a tad facetious…and being a copycat of Kasey Michaels'. So I'll start here with the timeline set at C.E 73; a time of unique (somewhat strange) fashion, flashy giant cars, floating colonies, gene-meddling, discrimination and scandal, druggies, and all that crap. There are giant robots, too, I might add.

Now let's introduce our characters, okay? First off, we have Athrun Zala the (_2_)Representative of December. He is handsome, gifted, smart, and everything a mother would love. Now despite his flawless exterior, Athrun Zala used to have a horrible temper gifted upon by his late atrocious father when his parents contributed their genes during his pre-conception. Lenore had wanted her son to be handsome, sweet, and all that motherly sap. Patrick, however, told his wife he didn't want his son to grow up to be some sissy mother's boy, so he instructed: "I want my son to have my strong personalities, so he won't be weak! I want him to be tough, no soft shell!"

Well, whoever thought that 'strong personalities' included a bad temper?

Now it was because of Athrun Zala's temper that led his former friend, Yzak Joule (Representative of Martius) and himself in a duel…As a result, Yzak Joule now parades around with a rather nasty scar on his face.

Athrun was ashamed of what he did. So, he fled to his mommy's house in December city, his homeland, in order for him to master control of his emotions, vowing never to return to the capital until he had absolute control of himself. And that took a lot of time…

But now, after two years, 10 months and three days after his eighteenth birthday, he decided he was now ready to go back to the civilized world. He was now on a shuttle headed for Aprillius city, the capital, where his manor was.

There, in the capital, he would join all sorts of soirees, parties, and such. Maybe even find a wife to gain an heir from. He had already decided to take up a quiet and serene wife, someone who would not test his patience. Let's hope he finds one…

* * *

Now, let's focus on Cagalli Yula Hibiki; a beautiful gal with hay blonde hair and amber eyes that awestruck everyone around her. She was on her way with her family to Aprillius city in order to snatch up a husband, a _rich_ husband. You see, they were in great financial need and Cagalli decided this was the way to save her family from the poorhouse. Aprillius city was a great opportunity; it was a place crawling with rich eligible bachelors. So they packed their things, left Orb, and caught a shuttle to Aprillius.

Surely, with Cagalli's beauty, wit, and charm, she could be affianced in an instant, right?

Wrong!

Two things were a problem. One was a rather meager dowry. And, two was her family, which composed of a granny, mother, and younger brother.

Let's start with her mommy, Via Hibiki, widowed for three years and doesn't really think quick on her feet. She is hoping that Aprillius will get her daughter hooked up with a fine and rich gentleman. Via is sort of a close-minded person. Instead of watching TV, she listens to soap operas in the radio (surprising, things like that still exists), she reads cooking magazines and everyone in her family doubts she ever picked up a newspaper other than using it to whack a fly away. Secretly, Via hopes to find second love in her age, ah, how nice that would be.

Then there is Cagalli's brother, Kira Hibiki. He is a complete loss and a hopeless cause. He takes a lot after Via, which explains his naiveté personality and lack of common sense. He's into money-making; sometimes sneaking off cash for some smalltime gambling that he swears is legal.

Lastly, there is Talia Hibiki. Cagalli's grandmother of the father side. She is a faded beauty, she is. Full of wild history that should be kept far behind, Talia had a lot of experiences in her life and wishes she could go back to the thrill and excitement of the old days. She isn't going to Aprillius just for the sake of her granddaughter, oh no, she also plans to have a bit of fun.

* * *

Then traveling to the same capital is one Arthur Trine, a fellow who seems to keep to himself. He's polite and well mannered, a fine gentleman, you might say…but in case you didn't know, he has a hidden scheme up in his sleeves. Oh, he was so going to make sure that he'd be rich when he goes to Aprillius. Aprillius city may be full of wealth and glamour but it was also walking with the dumbest of the wealthy people. And that kind of people always made great customers.

Aside from Mr. Trine, there was a retired seamstress by the name of Mana. She is hoping to find a way to fit in with Aprillius' society and glamour. Yes, that's a lot to hope for but no one's stopping her. Quite an eater and a loud talker, she is going to have a gander of a time when she gets to the capital…and that is something to agree upon…

* * *

Finally, we shall meet the staff that attends to the Zala manor located in the heart of Aprillius city.

We have Dearka Elsman, a footman, who was just recently hired about two months ago. Quite randy he is, so females should beware. Don't let his smooth ways get you. However, that's a little too late of a warning for Miriallia Haww, a beautiful maid, who quite frankly enjoys the attention she gets from Dearka. She also loves to tease the boy and play hard-to-get. However, when it comes to work, Miriallia Haww does her job at her best. "Sigh", if only Dearka Elsman was at good at working as he was at flirting…

Then there is Murrue Ramius, the head cook. This woman may seem gentle and sweet and all that but be warned! If you work under her kitchen and rules, she will have you running around like a slave and she's uber strict when it comes to the food. She believes herself to have a good judge in taste. If you disagree with her in things especially about food, you're going to die of a beating from her good rolling pin.

And last but not least is the family treasure who has marvelously served the Zala family for a good number of years under the Zala manor. He is none other than Uzumi Nara Athha! A professional at his job, he can spot the tiniest freckle of dust on anyone's shirt (what good eyesight!), he is practically time's keeper and it's like he's everywhere around the mansion (Unbelievable!)

Yes, he is the best butler around! Maybe the best in the world…if not for one thing he's doing wrong, and that wrong thing is renting out the mansion like some hotel while Sir Athrun Zala is not around.

You see, Uzumi was tired of doing nothing for two years without anyone to serve and the staff was beginning to lose their pizzazz and were growing extremely lazy. So seeing as his master had no intention of returning—Uzumi remembers his young master exclaim he'd never return to this hellhole before stepping off, tripping down the stairs, and dashing out of the manor and hasn't since return—the good butler decided to discreetly let people stay in and out of the mansion with very strict rules for a strangely small amount of a payment, in order to keep the staff sharp and alert and all that stuff.

The guy did have good intentions, but still tsk tsk, that is not a good thing to do when the master's away…even if it does seem he doesn't intend to ever come back.

Right now, Uzumi was expecting the new tenants to arrive. In which includes a strange family of four, a scheming gentleman and a fat lady. But does Uzumi know that his master—Athrun Zala—is coming home? Expecting his small staff for a good welcome, comfy bed, delicious food, warm fire in the fireplace and all that, does Uzumi know? Hell no! And that just makes things more very interesting.

So, let's put it down pat. Cagalli and her family, Arthur Trine and retired seamstress Mana are all heading to Zala Manor for their stay in Aprillius. Uzumi and the rest of the staff are awaiting the people's arrival—but they sure as hell didn't think Athrun Zala, the lord of the house, would be coming in, boy, will they get the shock of the century.

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(_1_) – This was the first line in Kasey's book.

(_2_) - In the book it was Marquis but it didn't seem to be of much place in the future, so I settled with "_Representative_".


	2. Manliness, escargots, and arrivals

s/n: The story you are about to read is based on **_Kasey Michaels_**' book: _The Butler Did It_.

Yes, I know, I have a LOT of stories that need to be updated, especially the ones collecting dust, but I'm currently working on one, err, two new fanfics, hehe….Oh and please try to live with the OOCness in the story, kay?

disclaimer: I don't own Gundam seed or it's sequel. I also don't own the book _The Butler Did It; _it belongs to its respective writer, Kasey Michaels.

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_The Butler Did It_

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Uzumi Nara studied the new tenants and inwardly groaned at the sight before him. From his good experience in judging character, he could easily see that Talia Hibiki would be trouble just by seeing the mischievous glint in her eyes. Kira Hibiki was a lazy insatiable brat by the looks in his curious stares and hands that haven't seen any work. He was easily able to distinguish Cagalli Yula Hibiki as the keeper of her family by the way she looked and stood, she also had an aura of female supremacy that immediately dismissed her to be of any burden to Uzumi (and her eyes caught him for a moment of fascination).

Arthur Trine struck him as a man of mystery and Mana (What was her last name again?) just imposed as a noisy parrot that could eat up a barrel full of food in a minute.

Lastly…there was Via Hibiki. What could Uzumi say? He knew that she'd be a distraction with his services, he could identify that by the way his knees suddenly went weak, his palms going all sweaty, and although he couldn't see, he knew his ears were probably beet red. She had lovely reddish brown hair with a few streaks of silver and sparkling lilac eyes, and her mouth! Such lovely lips and she had deep dimples as she smiled at him. Such beauty to behold, she was exquisite and—

"Are you just gonna stand there and say nothing all day?!" The big booming voice of Mana slapped his self back from his absorption with Lady Via's dimples and into the real world. He bowed his head, hands behind him.

"Pardon my rudeness, Mrs."—

"Miss!"

"Err, pardon my rudeness, Miss Mana…well, now that introductions have been made, I suggest we move you to your rooms, you all must've had an exhausted journey."

"Now, you're talking!" Mana beamed. "You! Scrawny boy! Get me bags to my room!"

Scrawny boy or Dearka Elsman swore behind his plastic smile as he stooped down to lift up Mana's belongings, which he soon found to be extremely heavy. It was like carrying an elephant!

"Do I get my own room?" Kira asked his mother when the answer to that was extremely obvious. Talia frustrated Via who was about to reply with a "Of course, you idiot! Did you expect to share a room with three women? Much less, expect to sleep snugly with your mommy and fluffy teddy?"

Kira, clearly insulted (and wondering how on earth she could have discovered about Teddy), dare didn't snap back unless he wanted hell to break loose. Instead he slid his gaze to the floor with an injured "No…but you didn't have to yell…"

"Then, stop asking stupid questions." Talia closed the discussion while being once again disappointed by her grandson's spineless attitude, God, he was practically like a baby, and Via was at fault for always spoiling Kira with video games and junk. Talia always thanked God for having Cagalli, she was a grandchild to be proud of…in fact, Talia had a brilliant idea on how she would help her granddaughter find a husband (sneer, sneer).

"Mr. Uzumi," Via started batting her delightfully lovely eyelashes at the butler with a very sickening-sweet smile on her face "would you care to escort us to our room?" with that, she continued fluttering her lashes. Talia and Cagalli slapped themselves mentally. Via Hibiki was flirting…again!

Uzumi Nara Athha, a man who has never been hit on by a woman in his whole existence, stared and blinked at Via's overly-blinking face. "Err; is there something in your eyes, Mrs. Hibiki?"

At that, Via was quite taken aback. Kira snickered at this scene until Cagalli stabbed an elbow at his chest. Kira, crouched in pain and this provided a chance for Via to escape her mortification.

"Cagalli Yula! Stop bullying Kira!"

"But he—I was only trying to"—

"You should know better! Here we are in Aprillius to set you up with a fine gentleman, but look at you, pushing your brother around. Do you think that's going to attract a potential honey?" At Via's statement, Cagalli blushed pepper red, as she felt everyone's eyes on her. Via then looked concerned for her son. "Kira, sweetie, are you okay?"

"…Yeah, I guess…" said Kira.

"Oh, for God's sake, Via!" Talia threw her arms up in infuriation at her daughter-in-law. "Stop treating the boy like he's still seven!" Steam practically came out of her ears.

"Mother Talia, my son is none of your concern!" Via retorted sharply.

"Woman, he's my grandson, I _have_ to have some concern for him!"

"Now, now, Mother Talia, stop yelling!"

"Call me, Talia, will you?! You make me sound like some nun!"

"I rather wish you acted like one!"

As her grandmother and mother were engaged in their spout, Cagalli Yula Hibiki blushed with even more humiliation. _God Almighty, please guide me through all this…_

* * *

"…TIME PASSES BY—AND ME—MO—RIES FADE!!! BUT TIME CAN'T E—RASE!!! THE LOVE THAT WE MADE—AND THE STARS IN THE SKY THAT I WI"—

"I wish that you'd pay more attention to your driving rather than your singing, Mr. Murdoch." Athrun Zala remarked, no longer able to stand another horrible off-key lyric coming from his chauffeur's mouth.

"I'm sorry, sir. It's just Lacus Clyne and her new song; I can't get it out of my head!" Murdoch chortled. Athrun exhaled loudly before fully easing his back on his seat. After 2 years…he was finally going home. Funny, home didn't sound like the right word. Spacious yet empty mansion was more like it, but Athrun preferred it that way. It allowed him to think clearly. Uzumi, his loyal butler and the rest of the staff knew and respected this.

Athrun knew that when he'd arrived, he'd have a lot of things to do, which included: 1. Apologize to Yzak. 2. Show to everyone the new and improved Athrun Zala and 3. Start looking for a wife or his mom would think he was a closet gay.

But that could all wait after a long 48-hour sleep and an eight course meal. Damn the traffic. If it weren't for it, he'd already be home hours ago! It was moving very slow, Athrun saw outside his window, cars moving like sluggish snails.

"Sorry, about the traffic, sir," funny, Murdoch made it sound like his fault or something. "Traffics been like this for half the day…they say it had something to do with an old woman arguing with a traffic police. Anyway, hell, sorry it had to happen today…err, how's the lady back in December?"

"My mother's well, thank you for asking," Athrun nodded with the answer in a polite way. Then looking out his window, he suddenly grew frustrated. "Murdoch can we take a detour or something?"

"Err that would mean we'd have to turn right on the next intersection, which in this condition will take a long time."

Sighing and ramming his fingers through his blue hair, he started clenching and unclenching his hands. "When will we get to the manor?"

"Umm, I'm guessing in a couple of hours or more…."

* * *

"WHAT IS THIS?"

"It's called _escargot_, in your terms, _snails_. It's something you put in your mouth, chew and swallow. Plainly put its food." Talia told Mana, before smelling her wine and then taking a long sip leaving Mana to her outburst.

"SNAILS? SNAILS! Why this is unacceptable! I paid good money for my stay here and I get snails for a meal? This is an outrage! You, scrawny boy, yes you! Do you see any other scrawny boy around here? Get these things out of my sight!" Talia discreetly rolled her eyes. Between having to listen to the loud woman and arguing with that traffic police from earlier, she'd choose the latter.

"Erm…Dearka," Cagalli spoke out as well "I'm not fond of snails, so would you take mine as well"—

"Oh for the love of God! Elsman, you might as well, clear the table, no one—'cept Arthur—finds these things appetizing."

With that said, Dearka expertly took all the rejected snails back in the kitchen, cursing silently at Mana's demands for roasted meat.

Via, who had been silent, suddenly began staring at an empty chair across hers. "Kira is still not down yet?" Maternal concern began to bubble in her.

Talia snorted. "Uzumi went to check in his room, he isn't there. Probably left the manor…"

At that, Via paled. "Oh dear! Where do you suppose he could be?"

"Relax, mom. I'm sure, Kira's just taking a walk…" she tried to assure her although Cagalli knew that was so unlikely.

"Oh, Cagalli, you know your brother! Give him two dollars and two minutes alone anytime, and you'll find him running off to some snail racing contest or a dice toss or something like that! You can't trust that boy to be alone!"

"But Kira's new to Aprillius. He'd need a map"—

"—which he can buy anywhere, dear." Talia intervened "but I doubt that idiot boy could read one!"

Via gasped, taken aback. Parental defensiveness took in. "Mother Talia, My Kira is a bright boy! All his teachers say that, have you forgotten he was on the honor roll?"

"And have you forgotten the time, he threw a laptop on the floor, completely destroying it, because he saw _a mouse_?"

"Well, he"—

"Face it, my naïve daughter-in-law, Kira has knowledge…just doesn't know how to use it. That boy is always whining, complaining and doing whatever he pleases! A chip off the old block!"

Via shot Talia a warning look. "I think we should draw the line here. I don't want you to start insulting your son, who happened to be my husband." Wordlessly, Talia agreed. Then out of the blue, Kira strolled in.

"Oh boy, I'm famished! What are we having?" His lavender eyes began scanning the tabletop and upon seeing no food, his face fell.

"Kira!" Via stood and crushed her son in an embrace. "Oh look at you! You're a mess!" Via was not wrong with that statement. Kira's shirt was buttoned incorrectly and wrinkled, his hair a complete bird's nest and his zip halfway up. "What have you been up to?" Via asked looking at him from head to toe. Kira pushed her away, gently but firmly, a look of annoyance on his face.

"Mom, cut the mom act, I'm not a kid anymore okay?"

Talia quirked an amused eyebrow at that, it was high time someone put that in Via's head and who better than her son? Via's bottom lip quivered. "But Kira…honey, sweetie, you look so disorganized. Here, let me button this correctly," her hands began fiddling with Kira's shirt but Kira shook them away.

"Mom, please! I'm a man! I just became one!"

Via retreated back to her seat feeling dejected and a tad hurt in the department of mother's pride. Cagalli saw this, and shifted her gaze at Kira.

"You don't have to act like a jerk, Kira! Where were you anyway?"

"And what's all this 'I'm a man…I just became one' business'?"

Kira blushed tomato red at that and it slowly sunk to Cagalli what it meant…

"You…you…you had it with some hooker?!" Her face was incredulous and so was Via's but Talia's face showed no sign of being a bit affected by this, in her head she thought _About time_.

"Kira! That's dangerous"—

"I know how to use protection, mom! Sheesh!"

"Kira, when will you stop being so irresponsible?!" Cagalli spat, glaring blue and dangerous murder at her younger brother. Kira glared back at her and snorted with an arrogant face.

"What's the big deal? It's the Cosmic era! Besides, I'm the man of the family. Speaking of which, what's he doing sitting at the head of the table?!"

All eyes turned to Arthur Trine sitting in said position of the table. "Oh hello, Mr. Hibiki, nice to see you, have you had dinner?" He offered a gentleman's smile before placing an escargot into his mouth.

* * *

It was a quarter to eleven and everyone had retired to their rooms. Uzumi was making rounds around the mansion while Dearka was busy chowing down on some food in the fridge.

"Ah, Murrue's delicious fried chicken! Delicious even when cold." He munched on the drumstick savage-like, tearing the meat of the bone like some deranged animal.

As he ate, the sound of the doorbell caught his ear. Grumbling, he continued to eat the chicken on his way to the door. Thinking who in bloody hell would come at such a very ungodly hour. He opened the door, and his jaw dropped.

Dearka had never personally seen the master of the house but he had looked at enough photos and portraits in the house to recognize that the man he was gaping at was Athrun Zala. And what was Dearka doing? Eating a goddamn chicken, that was what he was doing. Dearka immediately hid the chicken behind his back.

"Err, Sir Athrun Zala…it's umm…nice night, isn't it?"

Athrun Zala eyed him with scrutiny, and then asked "Who are you?"

"I'm Dearka Elsman…I was recently hired about two months ago."

Satisfied with that answer, Athrun took his black jacket off. "So Uzumi hired new employees, which means he's still at his efficient self." He handed his jacket to Dearka, who at first stared at it curiously then understood and reached out for it when Athrun snatched his jacket back.

"I can see your hands are greasy there, so I can't let you handle this."

"Umm, yes, sir…I guess."

Then they heard footsteps descending on the staircase with Uzumi's voice.

"Dearka, shut the door. You're letting a draft in and it might attract that young Hibiki boy to get out and"—he never finished that statement.

Athrun beamed. "Uzumi! Great to see you! I can see I have you startled. I guess I should've called, sorry about that."

That didn't help ease the features on Uzumi's face, which looked as if he'd seen a ghost dancing at the foot of the staircase.

"Once again, sorry. Now, if it's okay maybe I can go up to my room and then could you rouse Murrue for a late meal, I'm starving." He took a step on the staircase and then Uzumi spread his arms eagle-like as if he were trying to stop his master from climbing the stairs.

"Umm…Uzumi are you okay? Because I'm really exhausted and would like to hit the hay after a meal of course."

Coming back to his senses, Uzumi placed his hands at his sides. "Terribly sorry, sir. You just made me realize how much you've grown."

"Just two inches, not really a change. Now, if you excuse me…" He climbed past Uzumi and made his way to the master bedroom.

When he was out of sight, Uzumi stared at Dearka and Dearka stared back in return. Both of them had the same thought running in their heads. _Holy Shit!_


	3. Where everything can go wrong

s/n: Chapter 3 is here, my beloved peeps. Betcha thought I was dead, huh?

disclaimer: I don't own Gundam seed or it's sequel. I also don't own the book _The Butler Did It; _it belongs to its respective writer, Kasey Michaels.

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_The Butler Did It_

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After getting over the shock of it all, Uzumi Nara Athha reverted to his usual self, trying hard to act as if nothing went beyond the ordinary. He was carrying a tray laid with sushi, ham, fruits and a small bottle of wine to Sir Athrun's bedroom. Although he looked calm and composed on the outside, inside he was in a mental mess of panic. Contemplating on scary thoughts of the consequences of his actions, being sacked from his job and the usual things people guilty of using their master's home as some sort of inn to people would think of.

Deep in his thoughts, he failed to see Cagalli Yula Hibiki in front of him, almost bumping into her. His senses regained, and he looked at her with a strained smile you could see in the faces of constipated people.

"Miss Hibiki, shouldn't you be in bed?"

Cagalli ruefully shrugged then pointed at the tray he was carrying. "What about the person requesting for that meal, shouldn't he be in bed, too? Hm?" She took an apple from the tray and dug her teeth into the fruit.

Before Uzumi could think of his next calculated sentence, Cagalli started uttering more words with vexation. "God, don't tell me Kira ordered for this!"

Accepting what she just offered, Uzumi nodded. "Young Kira wanted a late night meal." He hoped she couldn't see right through his charade.

"Ugh, that damn Kira! And you Uzumi; stop talking like we're in the 17th century or something. Get with the slang like everyone else. Anyway, here, I'll take Kira's meal to him. I need to have a little chat with him anyway." Without Uzumi's consent, Cagalli grabbed the tray from his hands and stomped her way to Kira's room.

Uzumi watched her go with the tray she had stolen from him. Then, he sighed sorrowfully before going downstairs to make another duplicate tray.

* * *

"What are we going to do?" Murrue Ramius asked after a sigh of exasperation. Not only did she lose her would-be sleeping hours, she would also lose her job unless they thought of something.

Dearka struck up an idea and snapped his fingers. "I got it! Why don't we tell them we have pest problems! You know lots of termites or better yet, rats!"

Miriallia turned a shade green at the thought of a large, beady-eyed, slimy-tailed rat and let off a small shudder.

"We could do that," Uzumi stated upon hearing Dearka's idea "but how will we produce evidence?" At that, Dearka's face fell.

"It was a nice try though…any other suggestions?"

Silence drifted within the walls, each person had a pondering look asking their minds for a plausible idea of sorts.

"Err, how's about telling them something's wrong with the indoor plumbing?"

"Sorry, Dearka, I don't think so. But it was a nice thought." For Uzumi, patronizing Dearka was a much better solution than wasting his good insults, after all, why waste your breath and frustration?

…

…

…

"Anybody else?"

…

…

…

"Oh, come on, people!"

…

…

"Err…."

"Yes, Miss Miriallia. Please help enlighten the situation with your suggestion." At this rate, Uzumi was desperate enough to listen to the suggestions of a baboon.

All focus was on the young maid, a thoughtful finger on her chin, eyes scrutinizing the ceiling as if the answer came written amongst the cobwebs. (Uzumi – _"Note to self, clean ceiling…"_) Finally, the corners of her mouth pulled into a sheepish smile. "Why not simply tell them the truth?"

…

Uzumi started to wonder what the arrangements in the jailhouse were like.

* * *

"…More meat-stuffed cabbage please…." Athrun Zala ordered in his sleep, shifting his positions in between his voracious requests.

"…Hold the onions, please…."

Of course, when one is disposed in slumber, he is oblivious to whether it is the morn or the night, but Athrun Zala was going to get a wake up call.

…And that wake up call was the not-so-pleasant scream of Via Hibiki (although he will still yet to know her).

And on cue, a female voice lifted the dead with high notes that could make an opera singer green with envy.

The piercing shriek was able to penetrate the barrier of Athrun's dreamland. And like a balloon popped, the chefs and their trays of delicacies disappeared like a sudden gust.

Athrun was up like bread popping from the toaster in toasted form. Hair disheveled, drool trail on his chin, eyes bulging with mixed alarm and fury along with the most sensible thing anyone could ask when disturbed from their needed rest.

"What the hell?!"

* * *

Meanwhile, downstairs in the posh drawing room of the mansion, Cagalli Yula Hibiki was occupied in her time clamping her hands on her mother's mouth, muffling the edgy woman's voice.

"For the love of Pete!" She seethed.

"Who's Pete, Cagalli? Someone we should know about? Pete Wentz?" Kira grinned roguishly; he was truly a man who kept every taunt on his sister a prized moment.

Cagalli glared deadly at him. "Pete is short for St. Peter. And you'll meet him when I get the chance to wring your neck!"

Suddenly, Kira found looking at the hearth a very nice hobby to distract him from his fear. That fear in the form of his sister.

Talia shared the same fury as her granddaughter and this was directed at Uzumi.

"This is a joke right?" Her tone was deadly.

Ignoring the shiver that went down his spine, Uzumi cleared his throat and tried to sound like the source of serenity amongst the chaos.

"I'm afraid I'm not. But rest assured you'll all get a refund."

"Refund? Pfft! Who cares about that? Where will we stay?! Every hotel and inn is booked like heaven! You expect us to go to hell?!" Mana gave him her piece of mind.

"Well, might I suggest"—

"This will really be a conflict on my schedule." Arthur Trine declared.

"I greatly apologize for that but given the circumstance"—

"Where's your manager?!" Mana boomed.

_Oi vey…_As if it could get rid of the inner demons playing in his head, the butler massaged his temples, praying that his master was soooo tired that he would sleep until the end of the world thus not ever having knowledge of this. All he needed to do was play the part of the smooth negotiator and get rid of these tenants. Alas, these things sounded easier than done.

"I am not taking a step outside, ya hear me?!"

_Anyone can hear you from a mile away_…. Uzumi mentally remarked. He was losing face. More importantly, he was losing time.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!!"

Time was up. God hated him.

And his young master burst into the room wearing nothing but pajama bottoms and a livid face that quickly changed to shock upon seeing the unfamiliar faces in his home and a pair of lovely ocher eyes.


	4. The Jerk and I

s/n: I recently turned 17. Boy, do I feel old…

disclaimer: I don't own Gundam seed or it's sequel. I also don't own the book _The Butler Did It; _it belongs to its respective writer, Kasey Michaels.

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_The Butler Did It_

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Athrun Zala was too stunned to think of anything, much less _do something_. Here in his very own home, a place of sanctuary, of inner shelter, were people he had never seen before in his lifetime. Forget the fact that Athrun was standing half-naked facing the interlopers (well okay that's not likely); the more important thing to ponder on is what the heck were all these people doing?  
Via, who had screamed after what Uzumi just told them, gaped at the sudden intrusion of a not-so-clad man.

A stretching silence…followed by a wolf whistle.

"Now, that's a real man!" Talia proclaimed much to the chagrin of Via and Cagalli.

Suddenly finding himself the insect under the microscope, Athrun Zala looked down and turned redder than all the cherries in his mother's orchard. He was exposed with nothing but pajama bottoms on. And there wasn't (cough) anything under said pajama bottoms.

He did the most sensible thing to do… Run away from the room and burn everything in his hell fury later.

"Who was that creep, err—exhibitionist?" Kira spoke out his wonder moments after the bluenette fled away, leaving a cloud of curiosity for the tenants in the room.

Uzumi cleared his throat, hoping there was no hint of dread in his tone. "That exhibitionist, as you kindly put, was Athrun Zala."

Silence.

"The lord of the house…and Representative of December."

Gasps.

* * *

Athrun felt humiliated and angry, even more on the latter.

A stranger! He was a stranger in his own home! Okay, so he left his home for two years, ten months and three days…but that didn't mean people could just waltz in un-introduced to him! What was the world thinking? No, what was Uzumi thinking to be more exact.

Speak of the devil.

Enter Uzumi with the most composed form in the world. The whole universe could just end up in smokes in a matter of seconds but Uzumi probably wouldn't even bat an eye about it.

"Lord Zala," a butlery bow "I have a long list of explaining to do."  
Athrun found himself gritting his teeth in annoyance, Uzumi just seemed so lax about everything!

On the other side, contrary to the Zala boy, Uzumi was anything but lax. Mustering all his courage from every fiber of his being, he was prepared for any wrath or tantrum to be bestowed upon him by his young master.

Athrun Zala leaned his shoulder on the mantle of his bedroom fireplace, a skeptical brow raised, lips tightly closed, and arms folded as if for the very purpose of avoiding the temptation of strangling a certain butler.  
"Start from the very top of your list."

Venom words…

"Well you see, my lord…the mansion was empty." He hoped his voice wasn't quavering like his hands, which were hidden in his pockets. Uzumi had worked under the Zala family for years and he knew that any man under that surname preyed on weaknesses. Showing any hint of weakness and cowardice was like buttering yourself up with chicken blood and entering a monster's den crooning _"Here, Carrie, Carrie, Carrie!"_

"Well, it isn't so empty now, is it, Uzumi?"

Stinging venom words…

"Well go on, Uzumi. The mansion was empty and?"

"My lord, you had fallen into that nasty duel with Mr. Yzak Joule and"—

"This is about your sins, not mine! Stick with your list."

Uzmi could feel the rising hostility stirring in the atmosphere; he mentally sighed and prodded himself to go on.  
"I'm sorry my lord but you did say to start from the very top of"—

"Go to the relevant part," Athrun tried to suppress his boiling temper.  
He scrutinized Uzumi with his menacing green eyes.

"Well the mansion was empty after you left except for the staff and all and everything was still normal with the round-to-clock chores but however"—

"However?"

"After a few days, weeks and months…we were beginning to think you really were serious and not just sulking like the usual times. We thought you really meant what you said about never stepping in this hellhole again. Thus we were left to do nothing…"

"And was still very well paid to do nothing!" Athrun retorted.

"And we're grateful for that, my lord. Very grateful. But then so much time had passed and everyone was getting out of practice and lazy. Something had to be done. So we decided to let people stay here. A sort of Bed-and-Breakfast concept."

"So letting out the mansion was the solution?" Athrun smiled sardonically. "It helped I bet. You probably even earned a few more extra bucks other from your always active salaries."

Uzumi sure wanted to applause for his master's self-control but of course decided against it. "Rest assured, sir, we didn't advertise it openly"—

"I sure hope you didn't! If that would have been the case, people would be snickering around me and asking me how much a night would cost in a luxury suite."

"We were quite discreet my lord." Uzmi added, sort of like an afterthought.  
"I don't even care if you handed out brochures! Point is that you turned this place to a bloody hotel! I'm surprised you didn't hang out a sign. What do you call this place? _The Absent Representative_?"

"We made very strict rules, my lord." Uzumi supplied.

"Yeah, like what?"

"Well no one was allowed to throw parties or invite other people; no soul was allowed to go into your private and personal areas. Everything was under constant supervision."

"Uzumi, you could say that you gave everyone world peace but that would not change my not-so-pleasant thoughts about you."

"I was overly ambitious, my lord." Uzumi sounded resentful, lowering his head in shame. "It was wrong for me to do this. Especially accepting that Ms. Mana to stay."

"Now that you have opened up the discussion of these err—guests. I have a right to know who are staying."  
Actually, Athrun just wanted to catch the name of that blonde chick and what better excuse than this.

"Well there's Mr. Arthur Trine, a quiet fellow and Miss Mana as I've mentioned. Then there's the Hibiki family. Three women and a boy. There's Talia, the granny, her daughter-in-law," a pause for a somewhat breathtaking release "Miss Via and her children; Kira and daughter, Cagalli."

Cagalli. So her name was Cagalli. Athrun finally had the name to tag her face and eyes. Ocher eyes. Cagalli.

"They're here for a few days…" Uzumi ended. And just to show Uzumi that he, Athrun Zala, Representative of December, had mastered control of his temper during his self-imposed exile, his voice only raised half an octave when he cried out:  
_"Are you insane?!"_

"I'll…err—inform the others and will take leave, sir. What I have done is horrible and unforgivable and I cannot stress enough how truly and sincerely sorry I am…" _Yeah._ Uzumi mentally mused. _Sorry I got caught._

"Yeah, sure, sure…" Athrun said; his thoughts more occupied on a certain blonde. Her beautiful ocher eyes were a deadly combo with her lush lips. She really was a fascinating splendor.

Mentally shaking his head, Athrun knew it was best she was gone before he became fanciful like a schoolboy with a crush. She was just an interloper like the rest of the so-called guests.

"…Actually, Uzumi, you're not off the hook." Athrun tartly said.

Uzumi straightened his already straightened back.  
"Should I call the police, sir? I'm afraid that the idea of that is too terrible for the others. Therefore, sir, I am ready to accept all the blame on behalf of"

"Cut the martyr act, Uzumi. No one's going to jail; I'm not a monster like you make me out to be. But then again, I'm no saint either. So you'll all be working the next two years without wages. Now, for my first order as master of this mansion, I want you to kick these people to the curb. I'll even move my ass to help by informing how they are no longer welcome here."

* * *

"We are not leaving!" The determined voice of one Cagalli Yula Hibiki rang out the moment Athrun came to her view—this time properly dressed. Cagalli gulped and was relieved that those words had gotten out before she had taken a gander at him. Athrun Zala was bloody hell intimidating now that he was donning on real clothes.

"And you can't make us!" She spat. Two spots of color heatedly rising on her cheeks.

_Aw…isn't she cute?_ Athrun mused to himself before doing his signature brow-raising and arm-folding saying  
"Cagalli, I presume?" He looked around the very empty room. "Where are the others? Don't tell me you're here to champion for them?"

Minutes ago, Cagalli was preaching out what great injustice it was to be thrown out, everyone agreeing with much gusto and fervor. But after she asked the question: _"Who's with me to tell off that Zala guy?!!"_ she suddenly found the room empty with no life left save for a pair of crickets. She felt like a sacrificial lamb with a hungry wolf.

She took out the receipt and prayed she looked half as intimidating as the Representative before shoving it to his face.  
"I am here representing my family, Mr. Trine and Mana! This receipt is proof that we have paid for our stay and we are not leaving. That is _**final**_!"

"My, my," Athrun said, facing her heated stare with a jerk-guy smile. "Consider me shaking in fear."

At a closer range, Athrun found her beauty magnified. But as beautiful as she was, she had to take the heave-ho.  
"Cagalli, I leave you two choices." He ran a hand through his slightly unruly hair. "Leave under your own power and dignity or"—he took a few steps forward and he found himself almost pressed to her as he tried his very best to let her feel how much power he had towering over her.

"I will toss you over my shoulders with my hand graciously on your cute _derriere_ and make you leave myself."


	5. Blackmail makes its entrance

s/n: _May himala!_ (It's a miracle!) I actually updated! XD

disclaimer: I don't own Gundam seed or it's sequel. I also don't own the book _The Butler Did It; _it belongs to its respective writer, Kasey Michaels. Note, I'll do a lot changes from the book. Beware of OOCness.

* * *

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_The Butler Did It_

_-_

_-_

Cagalli's hand had the itchiest urge to raise up and plant one sucker on the Zala's face. The comment he just made got her face so red, it could've been a new shade of red for a box of crayons.

_Keep it together, Cagalli. You can do this. After all, you've lived your whole life with a ditzy mother, a spawn-of-the-devil of a grandma, and a baby baby brother. This is nothing, you can do this…_Motivated by her inner pep talk, Cagalli once again, flashed the receipt at him, as if it were a shield of sorts.

"We have PAID. PAID!" Cagalli gave a punch to an oh-so recurring word. "We PAID for our lodging. PAID. Therefore we are staying."

Athrun frowned at this. He didn't expect her to be this--err, difficult unlike most of the females he'd encountered.  
"Miss Cagalli. Let me say this. I don't care if you have _PAID_." He inwardly snickered as he saw her slightly cringe.

"In case you didn't know, which I don't doubt if you did, I never approved of my house being leased to random poking strangers such as yourself and the others. So, you best be on your way. Don't worry, I'll all give you double the refund."

Athrun felt like throwing a victory party for himself for the way he handled it smoothly with his oh-so-smexy voice. He knew that voice could butter up women and reduce them into a puddle of goo, even if he were to insult them, the smexy voice still could turn the ladies fainting with woo. Cagalli would be no different.

…

…

…

But then again, he didn't know Cagalli. And by looking at her _I-am-so-ready-to-strangle-you-so-help-me-Haumea _look etched on her face, Athrun right away knew his oh-so-smexy voice didn't yield the usual results.

Time to change tactics.

"Miss Cagalli. Do understand that you are illegally here in my house and I can just summon guards to toss you all out. But I won't do that because dignity is a very important thing, am I correct?"

Cagalli's hands clenched into fists, crumpling the poor receipt in the process, her gaze locked on his annoying smirky voice, as she mentally hacked him into pieces with a makeshift instrument of pain.

"You _jerk_." She seethed, glaring at him like it was a primitive instinct instilled in her since forever. "You think you're all high and mighty, don't you?!"

"Well…" Athrun tapped his chin thoughtfully with a rather innocent smile on his lips.  
"This is _my house_ and I can be high and mighty as I damn please to be. Wouldn't you agree?"

Cagalli stamped her foot in frustration. "You're impossible!"

"Thank you."

"You're also so rude, arrogant, and a hell-spawned jerk of a guy who should have never been spawned in the first place!"

"Thank you, thank you and thank you. Are you done with your compliments?"

Cagalli bit her lip to the point it lost track of blood circulation.  
"We can't just leave! Every hotel is booked like hell! Especially considering the fact that the Festival Days of November is drawing near. What are we supposed to do?"

Athrun began to like the flow of the conversation; Cagalli was running out of arguments and there was a hint of panic detected in her voice.  
If this kept up then pretty soon, she'd be packing and leaving home. He could then claim his home to himself again. Oh sweet joy. All he had to do was prod things the right way.

"That's too bad, Cagalli." He pretended to have a pitying face on. "I really wish I could help. I know! Why don't I book all of you a shuttle ticket home? I'll pay for everything, first class"—

"We're not leaving." Cagalli stated flatly.

And that was where Athrun's limit exceeded and hell hath no fury than an Athrun stoned.  
Stoned with overbearing fury that is.

A countdown to Cagalli's demise began in the fingers of the devil down below. Pitchfork and all in check.

_3…_

_2…_

_1…_

A very eerie smile appeared on Athrun's face. With concealed anger about to be released, he said  
"I really didn't want to have to do this—well actually I did—but…"

Step. Grab. And Cagalli found herself carried over his shoulder. She could see her shocked face reflected on the shiny marble floor before her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" She screeched.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He intoned pleasantly and menacingly. "I'm going to toss you out."

"You can't do this!"

"I already am!"

"I'm going to scream!"

"You already are!"

That's when she began to kick and flail about with violence to match a rabid dog. Screaming and yelling. Screaming and screeching. Screaming and shouting.

And that's when it happened.

She froze.

…

…

…

His hand was suddenly on a part of her anatomy no man had ever touched before or rather _dared_ to touch. From the shock of it, she almost forgot about what was happening.  
Cagalli decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. His hand probably just strayed there unknowingly.

"Zala,"

"Yes?"

"Your hand is on my butt."

A squeeze. "I know."

Down below again, the devil was counting down Athrun's demise on his other hand.

_3…_

_2…_

_1…_

"YOU JEEEEEEEERRRRRRRKKKK!!!!!!!"

She elbowed him hard on the back of his head. That's where he lost balance and dropped her unceremoniously on the floor with a grunt and tirade of colorful curses.

"Pervert! Ecchi! Freak!" She lashed out. She rolled up her sleeves. Oh, he was so getting hell for this.

Athrun looked at her and said only one thing to her that had every sane notion and thoughts abandon her fully.

…

…

…

Smirk. "Nice."

She pounced on him like a cat on a mouse. Her fists struggling to make a mark on his face, but his hands snaked each wrist. He was smirking again. Damnation and hell.

"Any plans of leaving now, Cagalli? You can't possibly stand to be under the same roof with a pervert slash ecchi slash freak, right?"

Oh how she hated him. But he had a point. Hope began to falter when an idea struck her!  
She smirked mentally.

Sigh. "You're right, Zala. You're absolutely right."

Athrun frowned. What was she getting at? Releasing her fists, they stood up and dusted off the imaginary dust thingies on their clothes.

"I'm right about what?"

"About me staying here. I realize I can't possibly"—

"Well that took you long enough."

Twitch. "Well, yes…Point is. You're right and I'm wrong. That's all that should matter!"

Athrun raised a brow. Why was she suddenly so agreeable? Something must be up. Correction. Something was definitely up.

"Why are you suddenly being easy like a two-bit whore in sleazy street?" He asked her.

She answered with a strained smile. "I just saw the light of things that's all. Shouldn't you be happy?"

"Hmm…point taken."

That was what he wanted after all. So he should be happy. But the thought of her leaving…and never seeing her again. Not that he was attracted to her in that kind of way, it was just that she had provided him with so much entertainment in his rather dull life. He had never experienced such since well, since forever!

"Well, I guess I should leave now. I really am sorry for the inconvenience and all that crap."

Cagalli dramatically sighed. "I guess I should tell my family and Mr. Trine and Miss"—

"Yes, yes, please do and make it quick." Athrun decided to say it before he could change his mind.

"Yes. I suppose," she turned…then suddenly turned to look at him again. "Before I go though, could you direct me to where the famous Rousseau Street is located?

His brows furrowed. "Why the heck would you want to know? Are you planning to go there or something? If so, why the hell would you waste your time? That place is lined with only radio stations, nosy newspaper reporters and TV stations, tabloid"—He halted, as his own words sunk into his head.

"………."

"………."

"Cagalli."

"Yes, Zala?"

"Are you planning on doing what I think you're planning?"

"Yes, Zala."

"………."

"………."

"Cagalli…"

"Yes, Zala?"

"I hate you."

Smirk. "I hate you too, Zala."


	6. Blackmail of the emotional kind

s/n: People have been asking where I got the book. I didn't get it in a bookstore; my mom bought it for me from ebay. So there... Oh and enjoy the update.

disclaimer: I don't own Gundam seed or it's sequel. I also don't own the book _The Butler Did It; _it belongs to its respective writer, Kasey Michaels. Note, I'll do a lot changes from the book. Beware of OOCness.

* * *

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_The Butler Did It_

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_-_

Lacus Clyne sighed a lovesick sigh—after that, she sighed again—and again—and again. Her sighs replaying like her mind. Propping her elbows on her featherbed mattress, she dreamily remembered her encounter with a certain brunette.

Her manager had always told her that she shouldn't be the type of person to wander around amongst the riffraff. But Lacus, fed up with all the superficial glamour and money-grubbing ways of the people in the hype-up world of show business, decided that it was high time to widen her horizons.

She had grown up as a rich girl, treated as a rich girl and was expected to remain a rich girl. Well enough was enough! Sick and tired of being treated like a fragile doll of porcelain—and a rather expensive one at that—she put on her best disguise and escaped the hawkish eyes of her people.

Never in her life did Lacus think that the polluted air shared amongst the populace would smell sweet—her scent of freedom! She couldn't help but smile at everything. This place was so much different compared to its glamorous counterpart. She oohed and she aahed and oohed and aahed some more. When she saw the faces of beggars and street urchins, Lacus' heart ached with sorrow. _My next concerts will be for charity._ She thought decidedly.

She was walking down in some bazaar place, admiring the stalls and bargains—when she saw him. Messy-haired, cloudy-eyed and disheveled—stumbling out from a sleazy hotel, Lacus had never seen such a good-looking man in her lifetime. He was more of a bishounen than any celebrity friend of hers. Her heart suddenly began to race, her palms all sweaty and her knees were about to give.

He was coming closer—making a path through the crowd. Lacus felt her face burn up so she quickly covered it with her sweaty palms.

_Get a hold of yourself, Clyne! _Her inner alarm bells rang. _This is what your manager meant by riffraff! You can't associate with the likes of him!_

But the thought of him as forbidden only seemed to make him more desirable. Lacus really wanted to slap herself.  
She was acting so…so…(gasp) shameless! She shut her eyes, praying that these sinful thoughts would cease.

_I am never reading shoujo mangas again!_

She opened an eye—and she felt her stomach do a somersault for he was standing right in front of her. Lacus wanted to leave but she felt as if someone had glued her feet to the ground.

He stared right into her face with half-lidded eyes. Then, Lacus felt a shudder of inexplicable emotion when his voice rang out from his lips like an angel's uttering, "Move it will you?"

His breath was reeking of alcohol—beer if she was not mistaken—it made Lacus' skin flush more as she felt its invisible warmth fanning on her face.

Lacus lost herself in a daze looking at his tall figure.

"What are you looking at?" Kira's violet eyes scrutinized the pink-haired girl.  
_Damn! I spent too much time with that Fllay girl! Now, mom— and especially Cagalli is gonna have my head for this! I need to get home quick!_

He focused his mind on the girl in front of him. What the hell is she looking at?

Deciding, not the waste any more time, Kira decided to move out, trying his best to pass through the girl's side.  
But then he lost his footing. And then a rude passer-by pushed him from behind…then a cat tripped him. So many _thens _led him to lose his stance and his lips fell smack down on hers.

Lacus heard angels sing alleluias in that moment. His lips against hers were warm and fitted hers perfectly together. Her heart burst into a blissful interlude and she felt like she was floating in air on a pink puffy cloud.

Kira, on the other hand, panicked. And heedless of the starry-eyed girl, tore his lips from the accidental kiss and preceded to leave the scene with a trail of dust cloud.

Lacus realized, as she watched him scamper off after detaching their lips—she was in love!

Lacus sighed sweetly. Then, as the girl who wins for most-naïve, she skipped away happily all the while dreaming happily for her next encounter with the guy she was in love with…but didn't know his name…

And that's how it happened. It was love at first sight.

"Oh, my knight in shining armor!" Lacus flounced herself on the bed, hugging her long pillow, her arms and legs entangled over it. "Take me away! Away, and away and away…." She drifted off to la-la-land.

* * *

Kira sneezed. _Why do I get a feeling that somewhere out there a girl is…desiring me?  
_He shrugged the thought off and joined the rest of the people on congratulating his sister for having persuaded the Zala guy for them to stay.

"You probably scared him off!" Via said, unpleased at the thought. "What if he spreads horrible things about you?! Then, you'll never get married!"

Cagalli gifted a snort to her mother. "Relax, mom! We'd have the last word if that happens!"

It only took Via to blink for Cagalli to guess she didn't get it right away. With a sigh, she retold her mother the story on how she blackmailed the Representative that she'd bring him up to the media regarding the situation of his manor…and behavior!  
He had been silent when she declared the threat to him; he was sort of brooding actually. But then again, she didn't give a damn…or did she?

A violent shake of her head. Of course she didn't care!

"Whoa, sis! Didn't think you had it in you!" Kira gazed at his sister admiringly like she were a statue made of pure gold.  
Uzumi was sort of pleased to hear this, which was kinda weird actually, but then again weirder things happen.  
"Anyone up for snacks?" He asked and no sooner, their faces lit up with appreciation—especially the one of Mana's.

"Me!"

"Duh!"

"I do!"

"With cookies please!"

* * *

Athrun was in his study, cursing his fate—or rather cursing on a certain hay-haired girl with ocher eyes. He was insulted and appalled. How dare she think she could have him wrapped around her slim little finger. Who knew beneath such loveliness, she was a sneaky, conniving bitc—

"May I come in?" Talia asked as she strolled in without much care for an answer.

Great! Now even old biddies were thinking they could step on him! Could he be any more degraded?!

He snarled at her as a welcome.

"I see you haven't cooled off." Talia noted as she took the chair that faced his. She smoothed her skirt and helped herself to some grapes from the fruit bowl on the small side table.

"I have to say, my granddaughter sure did kick your ass." Her eyes spoke laughter as she popped a grape to her mouth.

Athrun was always taught to respect women—especially elder women—but he decided that the woman in front of him wasn't worthy of such respect, especially when they were related to blackmailing vixens.

"Your granddaughter"—He finished off the beer in his can "—is despicable."

Clearly, the old woman didn't believe him. "Then why'd you have your hand on her fanny if that's your opinion of her?"

_Hand on her…! She saw that?_ He blushed remembering how he had treated Cagalli when he was about to "throw her out". He turned sinful blood red remembering how great it felt when his hand was on top of her soft and firm bu—

He stopped himself before he could break out into a nosebleed. He would not be swayed by such err, distracting thoughts.  
Especially with present company…

He slammed the now empty can of beer of his and gave Talia an intense stare.

"Heedless of what your granddaughter probably no doubt boasted to do with me—my mind is still set on seeing her gone."

He waited for a reply.

…

No reply.

Athrun pressed on. "I'll kick her to the curb! I already had my hand on her ass, so it doesn't make a difference if it's my foot! She's going to get what's coming to her. So help me, God. I'll see to it that Cagalli will"—

"—Be settled with a fine man for a husband!" Talia gave her own version to Athrun's interrupted sentence with a delightful smile. Athrun, needless to say, was stunned. He clearly did not see that coming. So there he was! Gaping like an idiot.

Charming.

Talia continued with her fanciful notions. "Oh! But of course, Cagalli should be taken to some wonderful parties and attend to the most prestigious of evenings—and that's where you come in handy! You'll escort her. The Representative of December!"

Athrun's eyes widened more but Talia didn't stop.

"Yes! You'll escort Cagalli and help find a suitable partner for her. And she'll get only the best!" She paused to swallow another grape. "You'll introduce her to the finest of men"—

"You're out of your mind!" He let out in near shout. But he might as well not have been heard for she still continued to ramble on.

"My granddaughter is rather tomboyish, meaning she won't have a single dress to wear. You'll really do come in handy when you pay for her gowns, jewelries"—

"The hell is this?!"—

"—Shoes and hats…"

"Hats?!"

"She'll also need better clothes for casual wearing"—

"Casual?!"

"Oh! And I almost forgot one of the most important things—lingerie!"

"W-w-w-WHAT?!!!"

Cagalli clad in ivory lace did wonders to a man's mind, Athrun decided as he tried to hold back a strong nosebleed.  
When he regained control of his err, body impulses, he hardened his fury on the elder woman.

"You actually think I would do all those things for that blackmailing vixen?" He seethed.

She smiled in her reply. "Yes. With a huge dowry to boot."

…

Athrun was about to scream hell when Talia added an interesting afterthought.

"We wouldn't want your father's secrets out in the open, do we?"

That got his attention.

"What are you?"

"Oh, I've lived more years than you, Mr. Zala Junior. Lived long to have witnessed Zala Senior's…shall we say, antics?"

Athrun had no idea where this was going.

"You're poor mother would be so mortified and terribly crushed if she learned how your father had a strung of discreet-yet-not-so affaire-de-amours during his time on earth!"

Athrun stiffened. His mother had mourned her father like he had been a saint. To have her know this...would desecrate everything she had believed to be dear. Athrun had always suspected his father's illicit affairs and even if he couldn't stop his father's adulterine ways, he made it a point his mother would never hear of this…her health was already fragile as it is. He had paid off all those people who knew about his father's disrespect of marriage vows—but clearly he had missed this woman.

…

Silence loomed above them…

…

…

…

Finally…

"You win…"

"What?"

"I said you"—

"Speak up!"

"YOU WIN!!!"

Talia smiled. Indeed she had.


End file.
